That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
