I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
