There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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