My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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