just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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