it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
