I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this will be a night to untag.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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