Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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