after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
