quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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