Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize