wrigley field is MILF paradise
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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