i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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