So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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