so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
