Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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