I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
