Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
