You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
