just come out here and I will go home with you...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
