So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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