sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
