There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
