WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I will be naked everywhere
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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