woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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