I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
