had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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