Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
