He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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