hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
