I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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