idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
