whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
