You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
