pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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