All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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