belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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