Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
false alarm, still single