Whod you bang
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
