She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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