You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
