It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
