cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
