just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
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It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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