He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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