He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
