96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
