Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
