I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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