why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
