Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
