my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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