I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
