so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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