I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize