ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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