I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
